Flickering Mind

Flickering Mind



By Denise Levertov



Lord, not you,

it is I who am absent.

At first

belief was a joy I kept secret,

stealing alone

into sacred places:

a quick glance, and away-and back,

circling.

I have long since uttered your name

but now

I elude your presence.

I stop

to think about you, and my mind

at once

like a minnow darts away,

darts

into the shadows, into gleams that fret

unceasing over

the river’s purling and passing.

Not for one second

will my self hold still, but wanders

anywhere,

everywhere it can turn. Not you,

it is I am absent.

You are the stream, the fish, the light,

the pulsing shadow,

you the unchanging presence, in whom all

moves and changes.

How can I focus my flickering, perceive

At the fountain’s heart

the sapphire I know is there?